LIFE STYLE

Have you ever found yourself thinking:

I wish I could be as lucky as other people, and not have to struggle so much in life.

I wish my life was as easy as other people’s, and that I didn’t have so many problems.

I wish I had the opportunities other people have, then I could be much better off.

Reading them here now, would you say that you agree or disagree with them?

We’ve all been there – in those moments where we’re not happy with the spot we’re at in life. It’s easy to let these thoughts creep into your mind and overrun it. But, if you agreed with any of the statements above, or find yourself thinking similar thoughts regularly, then you are not thinking like a successful person.

You’re not thinking with an abundance mindset. Instead, you’re thinking with – and living trapped in – a scarcity mindset.

To see how a successful person would think about life, let’s break down each of the above statements from their point of view.

1. Scarcity Mindset: I wish I could be as lucky as other people, and not have to struggle so much in life.

Abundance Mindset: My mindset creates my  attitude, creates my behavior, creates my life.

Stephen Hawking was diagnosed with an extremely rare, slow-progressing form of ALS at the age of 21. He’s been bound to a wheelchair for most of his life. Since 1985, he’s had to speak through his computer system, and requires around-the-clock care. But, he didn’t let these setbacks stop him from becoming a world renowned theoretical physicist, and one of the brightest scientific minds of this century.

Helen Keller was born blind and deaf. She went on to become a teacher, author, and the first deaf-blind person to earn a bachelor of arts degree. Clearly, she wasn’t going to let her struggles hold her back.

Hawking and Keller overcame their struggles, because like all successful people, they understand that everything starts with your mindset. Your mindset creates your attitude, creates your behavior, creates your results, creates your life. It’s that simple. That’s why you have to change your mindset, to start thinking about your daily choices as either inching you closer to success or failure. Then, you can master how successful people think.

2. Scarcity Mindset: I wish my life was as easy as other people’s, and that I didn’t have so many problems.

Abundance Mindset: View obstacles as opportunities for success, and a chance to better yourself.

When I was younger, I used to look at successful people and think that they just got lucky. They never had to struggle through all the hardships and obstacles that I did. Life and success just magically came easy to them.

Successful people understand that some of your best learned life lessons come from your struggles. Instead of wishing for things to be easier, learn how to view every obstacle you encounter as an opportunity for success. Learn how to view your struggles as opportunities to learn something, and become better.

It’s important to remember that whatever you’re focused on in life is what will grow. So, rather than focusing only on your problems, you have to focus on the solutions. The only way to do that is to face your problems head on. Successful people are willing to do this – they don’t spend their time letting problems defeat them. They don’t spend their time waiting for luck to come find them.

3. Scarcity Mindset: I wish I had the opportunities other people have, then I could be much better off.

Abundance Mindset: You can create your own environment rather than being a product of your environment.

We’re taught to believe that we are destined to be a product of our environment. What we’re not taught to believe – and what took a long time to learn through my own journey – is that you can create your own environment.

The truth is, there are only two ways to change your life, 1) You take action and create a new environment that fosters your most important goals, or 2) You spend your time waiting for something new to come to you without working at it.

Nothing in your life will change until you take action. Every journey starts with taking a step – not thinking about taking a step. Successful people don’t wait for new circumstances to come find them. They don’t let themselves become a product of their environment. Instead, successful people make their environment a product of them.

Why Does it Matter to You?

The way you think about life, and what you do as a result, matters. If you have an abundance mindset, you will live and behave accordingly. If you have a scarcity mindset, you will live and behave accordingly.

You’ll either live the life you want, or you’ll settle for less.

Successful people think differently about life. They do things that seem to make no difference at the time, but yield big results after they compound over time. They write their problems down on paper, and treat them like equations they must solve. They keep trying, until they succeed.

If there are no problems, struggles, or obstacles in your life, you’re not growing. And if you’re not growing, you’re dying. You can’t give in to defeat. You can’t spend your time wishing things were easier, that you were luckier. Instead, spend your time determined to make yourself better. Refuse to let a scarcity mindset defeat you, so that you can live the life you want.

Byron Wien has a career that spans decades on Wall Street, and has built himself a prestigious reputation in the process. Born in the Depression era, Wien became a teenage orphan when both of his parents died before he was 14. But, he didn’t let life’s bad breaks defeat him. Wien would go on to attend Harvard University, where he graduated with a Master’s Degree.

He first entered the financial industry by working for Morgan Stanley in 1984, and eventually became the company’s top investment strategist. Today, he is the Vice Chairman of Blackstone Advisory Partners.

So, who better to take some life lessons from? I read the original article a few years ago when Blackstone first published it. I came back across it recently, and it resonated with me just as much as all the other times I’ve read it. The wisdom Wien provides in the article is simple, but invaluable. That’s why I wanted to share it with you.

Here are Byron Wien’s 20 life lessons he’s learned in his 80+ years:

1. Concentrate on finding a big idea that will make an impact on the people you want to influence. The Ten Surprises, which I started doing in 1986, has been a defining product. People all over the world are aware of it and identify me with it.  What they seem to like about it is that I put myself at risk by going on record with these events which I believe are probable and hold myself accountable at year-end.  If you want to be successful and live a long, stimulating life, keep yourself at risk intellectually all the time.

2. Network intensely. Luck plays a big role in life, and there is no better way to increase your luck than by knowing as many people as possible. Nurture your network by sending articles, books, and emails to people to show you’re thinking about them.  Write op-eds and thought pieces for major publications.  Organize discussion groups to bring your thoughtful friends together.

3. Treat new people like old friends. Assume he or she is a winner and will become a positive force in your life. Most people wait for others to prove their value. Give them the benefit of the doubt from the start. Occasionally you will be disappointed, but your network will broaden rapidly if you follow this path.

4. Read all the time. Don’t just do it because you’re curious about something, read actively. Have a point of view before you start a book or article and see if what you think is confirmed or refuted by the author.  If you do that, you will read faster and comprehend more.

5. Get enough sleep. Seven hours will do until you’re sixty, eight from sixty to seventy, nine thereafter, which might include eight hours at night and a one-hour afternoon nap.

6. Evolve. Try to think of your life in phases so you can avoid a burn-out. Do the numbers crunching in the early phase of your career.  Try developing concepts later.  Stay at risk throughout the process.

7. Travel extensively. Try to get everywhere before you wear out. Attempt to meet local interesting people where you travel and keep in contact with them throughout your life.  See them when you return to a place.

8. When you meet someone new, find out a formative experience that occurred in their life before they were 17. It is my belief that some important event in everyone’s youth has an influence on everything that occurs afterwards.

9. Use philanthropy to relieve pain rather spread joy. Music, theatre, and art museums have many affluent supporters, give the best parties and can add to your social luster in a community. They don’t need you. Social service, hospitals and educational institutions can make the world a better place and help the disadvantaged make their way toward the American dream.

10. Younger people are naturally insecure and tend to overplay their accomplishments. Most people don’t become comfortable with who they are until they’re in their 40’s. By that time they can underplay their achievements and become a nicer, more likeable person.  Try to get to that point as soon as you can.

11. Take the time to give those who work for you a pat on the back when they do good work. Most people are so focused on the next challenge that they fail to thank the people who support them. It is important to do this.  It motivates and inspires people and encourages them to perform at a higher level.

12. When someone extends a kindness to you write them a handwritten note, not an e-mail. Handwritten notes make an impact and are not quickly forgotten.

13. At the beginning of every year, think of ways you can do your job better than you have ever done it before. Write them down and look at what you have set out for yourself when the year is over.

14. The hard way is always the right way. Never take shortcuts, except when driving home from the Hamptons. Short-cuts can be construed as sloppiness, a career killer.

15. Don’t try to be better than your competitors, try to be different. There is always going to be someone smarter than you, but there may not be someone who is more imaginative.

16. Always take the job that looks like it will be the most enjoyable. If it pays the most, you’re lucky. If it doesn’t, take it anyway, I took a severe pay cut to take each of the two best jobs I’ve ever had, and they both turned out to be exceptionally rewarding financially.

17. There is a perfect job out there for everyone. Most people never find it. Keep looking.  The goal of life is to be a happy person and the right job is essential to that.

18. Always find someone younger to mentor. It is very satisfying to help someone steer through life’s obstacles, and you’ll be surprised at how much you will learn in the process.

19. Every year, try doing something you have never done before that is totally out of your comfort zone. It could be running a marathon, attending a conference that interests you on an off-beat subject that will be populated by people very different from your usual circle of associates and friends or traveling to an obscure destination alone. This will add to the essential process of self-discovery.

20. Never retire.  If you work forever, you can live forever.  I know there is an abundance of biological evidence against this theory, but I’m going with it anyway.